In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:
"Jfc, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to God you’re so fucking bougie."
(Pause)
"Oh, I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan..."
"Jeff who?"
"Bezos."
Knock, knock, whos there? I hate you, i hate you who, You hate me?? Rude!
My gamer tag is TheBigAut.
What do you give a pig when it has a rash?
Oinkment.
Yo momma so fat she died at 5. Her kids, f
* * *
Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.
Hi guys, the prankster is back!
I was gone for a long time because of this bullying about a nice sweet girl named Gwen! So my 6th prank is on...
When I put some bad stuff in my sister's toothpaste bottle!
Okay, so I took some smelly mints from the jelly bean game! I had molded cheese jelly bean, molded milk, and worms jelly bean! Jelly bean tasting is this game where weird tasted jelly beans are in there, so I got some mints and put it there! Then next thing you knew was, my sassy ass sister had her breath smelling like a chimpanzee's buttock!
What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?
Mixed nuts.
Yo mama so fat, she plays tennis with Pluto.
"Gwen, I want my boyfriend back!"
What do you call a physically handicapped heterosexual man that is in a wheelchair and German?
A physically handicapped promiscuous heterosexual man that is German.
STOP ORPHAN JOKES!
Why is a orphan crying about its family? Because it cant "let it go"
Why do you call a man that is physically handicapped and German?
A physically handicapped bisexual man that is promiscuous and German.
So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"
What is Stephen hawking best side
The left
What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize you're in a crematorium.
what do you call a group of emos?... The Suicide Squad.
