Worst Jokes Ever
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
In an alternate universe: I don't know how to solve the power of 10, but I do know how to pay taxes.
People in 1912: "Titanic is unstoppable, even God couldn't sink this ship."
God: "Bet, where are my icebergs?"
I will never forget my little brother's last words, RIP.
His last words: "Paint doesn't taste good."
Why do orphans love GTA?
Because they are actually wanted!
*in the hospital*
Paralyzed kid: I'm out!
*walks out the room*
Blind kid: You can walk?!
Mute kid: You can see?!
Deaf kid: You can talk?!
Doctor: Wut the f**k?
What do you call a special ed class that’s flooded?
Vegetable soup.
Yo mama so fat I bet that her fart can clear a room in seconds.
Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. I have too many problems.
What do you call a group of depressed kids with guns?
The suicide squad.
The "f" in "orphan" means family, even though there's no "f."
What do you call a kid that lives alone?
An orphan. ;)
Why did the planes crash into the Twin Towers?
Because the cleaner left the landing lights on!
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every scene has a cast!
Chuck Norris doesn't need to be vaccinated. Vaccines need to be Chuck Norrised.
I took my girlfriend to the beach, and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale.
What is the difference between cunnilingus and a confused Parisian tourist?
One lapses into French, the other Frenches into laps.
What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?
Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.
What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?
One is a snack cracker.
The other, a crack snacker.
I don't know why there are 26 letters in the alphabet.