Worst Jokes Ever

Your mum was so poor that she went to rob the bank, but she left because she couldn't find the cameras. She left her son, and the security [girl] gave him the camera.

Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.

Them: You're ugly.

Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.

Man, I had a joke, but it left and never came back.

What is a gay school boy's favorite grade?

D+.

Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.

Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?

Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.

Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.

Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.

Me: ...

My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.

Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her and she was on both sides of it.

So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.

I would curse at you, but my country praises cows.

What would the main character from Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver be named if he was a Mexican?

Travis Spick-le.

What's a dumbfuck's favorite condiment to put on his burger?

Re-tarter sauce.

Why did the dog cross the road?

To get to his owner.

Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.

What do you call people who have an Oedipus complex?

Motherfuckers.

I think I found the worst joke in life. For me, it's that I have always been unwanted and alone for my whole life, and I've never even been in a relationship with anyone, and I'm 31 years old, and I also know that deep down, I'm always going to be alone and unhappy. All I get out of life is seeing everyone else with someone and knowing it will never happen for me. I think that's the worst joke I can think of... LIFE.

Still living when you know you'll never find someone to be with.

I apologize with the wording to this; it's another thing I am a failure at.

Feel free to comment.

"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"

"Ok."

"What town did you grow up in?"

"Oral."

Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?

So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.

How many crack heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, there is no electricity.

Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought you were his brother.

What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?

— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.