Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
So in prep class, the students were asked to write a letter to their grandparents for Grandparents Day.
Little Johnny's friend, Little Sally, wrote things like, "Thank you," and, "You are so nice!" And Little Johnny goes, "What are you doing? You got it wrong!" So Sally says, "What do you mean? It's a letter." Little Johnny says, "Why did you do it like that? Just write a letter from the alphabet like the teacher said!" Then he says, "I wrote a J to remind them of me!"
Knock knock.
Me, a person: Who's there?
A: Deez nuts!
What do Paul Walker and I have in common? Neither of us have seen Fast and the Furious 7.
Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.
Why can't an orphan go to a family reunion?
It has no family.
You were born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.
What two things can you never have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!
Q: How did Helen Keller get a concussion?
A: She kept stepping on a rake.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
One day, Johnny told his dad that a girl in his class liked him. He thought she was cute. She said, "Aw, you're like candy!" He didn't say anything. He said, "Why don't you think I am sweet like candy?" Little Johnny said, "Well, sometimes I get a toothache, and it hurts, so I stop eating it, like I stopped liking you."
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
Why did Orphan become famous?
Because he didn't need parent permission.
Q: Why do orphans get on Facebook?
A: Because they get liked.
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
Genders are a lot like the Twin Towers.
There used to be two of them, now it's a sensitive subject.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't make a 9/11 joke?
What do you call it when orphans take a family photo? A selfie!
What do you call Canadian weed? Canadabis.
