Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.
Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."
If you have anger problems, hit an orphan, because who are they going to tell? Not their parents.
So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.
Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?
'Cause they just wash up onshore.
TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.
Father: Guns cause all these problems!
Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*
Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y
An orphan goes to a doctor.
Doctor: "Sorry, I can't help you."
Orphan: "But why?"
Doctor: "I'm a family doctor."
What kind of tree can you High-Five?
A palm tree.
What is big and bouncy and walks on stilts?
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.
What’s an emo called Anna
A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.
Your forehead is so big that NASA went to discover Mars, but then they said, "Oops, wrong planet. Mars is smaller than this, we will discover it later."
Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?
To get to the dark side.
My girlfriend didn't bring me the sandwich, so I brought the gas.
how do u make a emo kid jump? a bridge.
My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.
If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.
Who needs April 1st if your whole life is already a lie?
What do you call an orphan’s picture
a family foto
Stop bullying me
