Random guy: Hi, how old are you?
Me: 15
The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.
Me: Do you know what else is a number?
The guy: What?
Me: 911
Worst Jokes Ever
Being gay must be a pain in the ass.
"1v1 me in Clash, you're trash, bro."
My money don't jiggle jiggle, it folds.
I want to see you wiggle wiggle, for sure.
Why don't orphans like pizza? Because they don't have parents, that's why.
afnshjrkf.
Can teachers give homework to orphans?
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine-year-old son in the closet.
One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son. Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Yes, it is,” the man replies. “You wanna buy a baseball?” the little boy asks. “No thanks,” the man replies. “I think you do want to buy a baseball,” the little extortionist continues. “OK. How much?” the man replies, after considering the position he was in. “Twenty-five dollars,” the little boy replies. “TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!” the man repeats. “That’s awful expensive,” but because of the position he was in, agreed to the price.
The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway, and again places her lover in the closet with her little boy. “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” the boy starts off. “Yes, it is,” replies the man. “Wanna buy a baseball glove?” the little boy asks. “OK. How much?” the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his disadvantage. “Fifty dollars,” the boy replies, and the transaction is completed.
The next weekend, the little boy’s father says, “Hey, son. Go get your ball and glove and we’ll play some catch.” “I can’t. I sold them,” replies the little boy. “How much did you get for them?” asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy. “Seventy-five dollars,” the little boy says. "SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! That’s thievery! I’m taking you to the church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness," the father explains as he hauls the child away.
At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Don’t you start that crap in here,” the priest says.
Why is a priest called "father?" It's too weird to call them "daddy."
Your dad left you 10 years ago and you're 10 years old, so your dad anniversary is today.
HELP! HELP!
TELL THE PRIEST TO STOP TICKLING ME!
The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.
NASA stands for... National Adult S3x Association.
Having a stroke?
Stop it!
Hey guys,
I'm starting to think they don't have any candy in this van...
So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them.
They burst into tears.
I was worried that they would call their mom, well... um... I got away.
Honestly, Ukraine is just built to annoy Russia.
Got the George Floyd pack, this shit makin' it hard to breathe.
I would roast you but you're already so hot.
