Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfathers? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.
Why do trees never call emo kids? Because they always hang up on them.
did jesus die a virgin no he got nailed before he died
Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.
whats the difference between an emo people and normal people, normal people have wrists
I like telling jokes about orphans. What are they gonna do tell their parents
I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.
I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.
A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
What did Stephen Hawking have for breakfast? His left shoulder.
If you are ever mad punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents.
Why are orphans whores?
Because they want a sugar daddy. 🙃
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.
You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.
If a girl says no twice 🤔.
Mathematically that’s a yes, so you’re good to go!
You ever had sex with a woman that is so fat, it counted as a threesome?
If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,
Try salad 🥗.
What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it?
A puppy, you dirty monkey!
joe mama is joe mama (you're mother) lMAO
There was a house with a three-story building.
The first one had Mexicans.
The second one had Africans.
The third one had white people.
An earthquake came.
But who did survive?
The white family because they were at work.
