Worst Jokes Ever
Why do emos have friends?
So they can hang with each other.
What do you call an autistic kid if he was short?
A short tistic.
Anyone have lightskin jokes?
The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?
He was airing his blanket.
Have you ever heard of horchata? Horchata, fuck up!
What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
lolo.
A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.
The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"
Why can't a T-Rex clap?
Because they're dead :/
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
Why did the turtle start flying? He was on a jet.
You smell dirty toenails and pigeon sex.
I would invite you to play baseball, but there's no home for you to run to.
Why is your mom ugly, bozo?
What do you call an ex-lesbian?
A clitter quitter.
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
Me lol.
Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...