Worst Jokes Ever
I’ve got money and suicidal thoughts, and I’m all out of money.
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a train.
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
A couple enters a Chinese restaurant and takes their seats.
The waiter asks, "想吃什么 (Xiang Chi Shen Ma)?"
The wife responds, "吃鸡巴 (Chi Ji Ba)!"
I saw this kid on the street wearing a rag. I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.
What happens to Emos when they go up?
They never come down.
Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?
To take care of his erectile dysfunction.
I’m taken, taken my own life, bitch!
Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
What are 8 people hiding in a corner because they're scared?
An octopus.
"OK, son," he says. "It's as easy as counting to 5."
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying, "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4."
What is the difference between a priest and a zit?
The zit waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One actually gets picked.
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
Why do orphans want to be gay?
Because they will have someone to call "daddy" for once.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He couldn't log in.
Your hairline is more bent than your gender.
Why did the teacher yell at the orphan?
Because he didn’t do his homework.