Worst Jokes Ever
Why can’t orphans go to a family restaurant?
Because there’s no family.
Vape company: Hey, want some lung cancer and a nicotine addiction?
Teens: NO WAY!
Vape company: But it’s mango flavored!
Teens: O OK. 😤
What did one iceberg say to the other iceberg as the Titanic went by?
"I'd smash that."
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
I was tickling my step brother's balls, and then it hit me: why is he laughing?
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they eat the bat.
Q. What walks through alleys and has a hole in it?
A. Batman's parents.
What is the difference between an apple spread and an orphan spread?
Apples get picked.
Why do midgets giggle when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Why can't two Asians make a white kid?
Two wrongs don't make a white.
What is a necrophile's least favorite game?
The Walking Dead.
Yo mama's ass is maddddd crusty!
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?
Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.
I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.
My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"
So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."
What do you call a wheelchair person with a gun? Special ops.
The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
GF: What do you think of our love?
BF: Count the stars in the sky.
GF: Aww... It's infinity!
BF: Nope. It's just a waste of time.
I tried phone sex once. But the holes were too small.
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.