"I put the tin foil in the microwave, ma!"
Worst Jokes Ever
Crispy, Juicy, Tender, I just put my new-born son in a blender.
What did Michael Jackson say to the child sitting on him?
“Just beat it! Just beat it!”
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?
I beat both of them.
What’s the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One was famous for walking on the moon, (pause), the other fucked young boys.
I wish the grass in my backyard was emo so it would cut itself.
Why did the chicken cross the towers?
Because he ordered a plane pizza and didn’t get to the other side.
What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.
What did one tower say to the other? "Damn, you looking fly!"
"Fortnite balls, I'm gay. I like boys. I kidnap autistic kids. Lil Mosey is white."
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Are you a cheese 🧀 from Denmark? Because your "guta."
What’s the best part about fucking an emo chick?... she's limited edition.
If an emo kid jumps off a building, who would win?
Society.
I wish the grass in my backyard was emo.
So it can cut itself.
Hello guys. It's me, Donald fuckin' Trump. Ask me anything in the comments, guys.
Who made the most money from 9/11? The US government.
There’s a woman cutting onions when her husband walks in and starts crying. Onions was a good dog.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
They come back.
1. Full name: John.
2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.
3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.
4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.
5. Mental health: mentally retarded.
6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.
7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named Redwing and the lizard named Notail.
8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.
9. Working motivation: none.
I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John.
