Worst Jokes Ever
Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.
Why couldn’t the dinosaurs talk? Because they were dead.
Do you know what the hardest part of school is?
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
What do you get when you mix a white guy and a fire?
A firecracker.
What's the difference between a toaster and a ten-year-old Chinese girl? A Japanese soldier would regret sticking his d*ck into a toaster.
Don't turn the toaster sideways, worst mistake of my life.
Your hairline is so far back Sherlock couldn't solve that mystery.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Why can't emos have ADD?
'Cause they are already scatter-brained.
What's the best way to get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
Why can't Mexicans play Uno? Because they steal all of the green cards.
My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because there is no home plate.
Don't worry about missing a shot after yelling "Kobe". He didn't make it either.
What does Kobe now have in common with his helicopter?
They both have torn rotators.
I lit my girlfriend on fire. I guess you could say I ignited her fire.
Why do most guns in America have an average mag/clip size of only 30?
Because that's the average class size in America.
Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?
It gives him gas.
I threw a lamp at the depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.