Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.
Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a man with no shins? Tony.
Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.
"13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.
"Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.
"You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.
The companies that made the hand gel sanitizer must be absolutely rubbing their hands together!
I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flat-mate.
Jeffrey Dahmer was craving Five Guys before it became a restaurant!
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
How do you say "fish" without the "i"?
Fsh
It isn't rap music if it isn't about rape.
What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?
Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.
Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:
You) I 1 poopoo
(Them) I 2 poopoo
(You) I 3 poopoo
(Them) I 4 poopoo
(You) I 5 poopoo
(Them) I 6 poopoo
(You) I 7 poopoo
(Them) I 8 poopoo
And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”
What should I write a joke about? Name the subject, and I’ll make a joke about it.
What's the opposite of Jason?
Jasister.
George Floyd is truly breathtaking.
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.
An emo kid sees his clothes hanging to dry, and he says to his clothes, "I wish I were you!"
Why have there been so many deaths around the world?
Trees and ropes.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Queen.
Queen who?
You don't know the queen? You're crazy!
The emo kid's mom went to jail because the kid was hung.
