Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
"Orphans get picked."
I would tell you an abortion joke, but it was only temporary.
Your forehead is so big that the teachers use it as a whiteboard.
Your forehead is so big, your entire face is on your chin.
Your forehead is so big, your mom spent half of the time in the delivery room giving birth to just your head.
Your forehead is so big that it made Mona Lisa smile.
Your forehead is so big, you could roast meat on it.
Your forehead is so big NASA thought it was Mars.
Shup up, transparent hairline. Look like you got splashed by some clear soap.
I got a call from McDonald's; they want their sign back.
Why is Paul Walker a walker?
To let people know he isn't a driver.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water. Jack fell down, his cock was out, and Jill gained a daughter.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You a dumb a** b*tch, We all know it's true.
"I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered!"
My ex-wife misses me, but her aim is getting better.
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up, and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest tits.
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.
Your hairline goes so far back that it looks like Will Smith slapped it.