One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.
Worst Jokes Ever
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
POV you are drunk and telling jokes and no one is listening πππ
POV: you
Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service.
Michael proved anything is possible in America. Where else can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman?
You're so clapped that you make Susan Boyle attractive.
A priest, a rabbi, and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, βIs this some kind of joke?β
Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off.
The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
My son asked for a swimming pool so I got him a ant πππ pool.
Why don't orphans play tag?
Because there's no one to catch.
Wanna hear two short jokes and one long one?
joke, joke, jooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooke.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett? Six hours.
At weddings my mom always tells me Iβm next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
Trevor Bauer for President.
Me: Looks like a girl, sure as h3ll I don't sound like one.
Michael Jackson: Looks like a boy, sure as h3ll don't sound like one.
That [is] what we have i[n] commen, but if you mix up my gender I won't give a F about it. Michael Jackson not so much : )
