Neither jokes
Two women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement.
Emma turns to Jane and says, "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"
Jane replies with, "I burnt to death."
Emma, shocked, responds with, "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"
Jane answers with, "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"
Emma replies with, "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."
Jane retorts with, "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have no balls, neither will you. 🔪🔪
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
No.
Neither has he.
I can't stand up when I laugh hard; neither can they.
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
Have you ever heard of hearing aids?
Yeah, me neither.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an airplane landing strip? Don't know, neither did my dad.
(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?
No?
Well neither did she.
You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.
Ya ever think about the twin towers plan?
Me neither. It all came crashing down.
What do orphans, parents, and Nemo have in common?
Neither can be found.
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
What do you call a Downey with glasses?
No, me neither.
Teacher: "If you don't understand, ask your parents at home."
Orphan: "I don't have neither of those :c"
Did you hear about the Chinese student?
Me neither.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.
What do Paul Walker and I have in common? Neither of us have seen Fast and the Furious 7.
What's better, a woman or a man?
Neither, for I am WHITE.
Kenny can't find a girlfriend because neither of his sisters can fuck as good as his mom could.