Why does Helen Keller hate the national anthem? Oh, say, can you see?
There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.
News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable. As each wrestler's legends grew, a match was set up between the two, America versus Russia. The match would be held in Texas.
John began training immediately. Every day his coach would tell him, “This Russian has a move called the Mongolian Death Grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian Death Grip. DO NOT let him get you in the Mongolian Death Grip.”
The day of the match finally came. Just before each wrestler stepped onto the mat in front of the capacity crowd, the coach once again said, “Whatever you do, do not let him get you in the Mongolian death grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian death grip.”
Four seconds into the match, the Russian had the American in the Mongolian death grip. The coach buried his face into his hands and cursed John for not listening to his advice. All of the sudden he heard the crowd irrupt in a chant of USA USA USA. He looked up and saw the Russian pinned by John. The coach ran out to meet John and embarrassingly told him, “I didn’t see... Once he had you in the Mongolian Death Grip I looked away. How in the world did you get out of the Mongolian death grip?”
With heavy breath, John told him, “Well coach, that Russian grabbed me and twisted my body in ways I never imagined possible. I was wincing in pain when I open my eyes and right in front of me were two testicles. So I bit them.”
“What???” Said the coach... “John I don’t think that is legal. You could be disqualified.”
“I don’t know about that coach. But I can tell you one thing. You ain’t got no idea how strong you are until you bite your own balls.”
He turns, he shoots!
And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...
Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends the holder of the nations purse, Fishi Rucksack will launch a new initiative. This will be to help the struggling 'personal services' industry, and will be labelled, 'Sleep out to Help out.'
What song genre do the national anthems fit into?
Country.
What do the initials NOW stand for?
(A.) National Organization For Women
(B.) National Organization of Whores
(C.) All the above
Answer: Since the initials NOW can stand for anything, the correct answer is all the above.
Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?
Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.
Why did the people think Stephen hawking was disrespectful? Cause he didn’t stand up for the national anthem
Why was Boiling Water hired by NASA (The National Aeronautics and Space Administration) to oversee their Space division?
Because it has at least one hundred degrees.
America once was known as an Obama nation. Now we're known as an abomination.
_Everyone:_ What does NASA mean ? _NASA's response:_ National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
_Everyone:_ What does NASA mean ? _Arinator's response:_ National Ariana and Space Ariana.
I went to the National Redhead Meeting yesterday.
Not a soul in sight.
Are you a nation leader or an email deleter?
There was a blind man in wwe and the commentator said WATCH OUT WATCH Oh he can’t see after he was sued for national offense
EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?"
Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
How are Stephen hawking and kaepernick so much alike...they both don’t stand for the national anthem
What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexic Association.
Leave a like down below if you think Stephen Hawking should stand for the National Anthem.
Yo mama is so fat, it took Nationwide 15 years to get on her side.
