Nan

Nan Jokes

What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum Your anus looks like my mums bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo. I also just wanted to add that a goonies anus looks like my nans mouth

Me: "What are you doing??" Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?" Me: "I don't know." Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*" Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"

Don't bully kids.

I asked my nan if she wouldnt mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping, she replied why the fuck would i want to sit in a bucket, so eventually she did and i took the best shit i have ever had

How many people can you fit in a car? 6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front and my nan in the ash tray.

My nan broke her toe by a brick today, last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire . Does that now mean I have to toe her back to the doctors.

Boyfreaind- let go to bed Girlfriend- no Boyfriend- why Girlfriend-because you want sex Boyfriend- no i dont NEXT MINUT The nan could hear banging

*family are together playing charades*

Me: 50 Shades of Grey! Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on nan!

A kid gets home from school and find his mom and dad having sex, the kid asks "what are you doing dad" the dad replies "having sex with your mom son" and he starts laughing The next day dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan, the dad shouts "what the hell are you doing son" the kid replies " it's not funny when it's your mom is it"