Name

Name jokes

Dog

What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.

Teacher

One day, little Billy came in, pulling up his pants. The teacher asks, "Where have you been, Billy?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." A few minutes later, little Willy came in. The teacher asked, "Where have you been?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." Ten minutes later, little Johnny came in. The teacher says again, "Where have you been?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." A few minutes later, a girl came in. The teacher says, "Who are you?" She says, "I'm Beverly Hill."

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  • Pregnancy

    A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.

    My name, my address, and my phone number.

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  • Michael Jackson

    Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

    They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

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  • Memes

    Blonde

    What do you call a blonde in the freezer?

    Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

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  • Celebrity

    I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...

    She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.

    Stephen Hawking

    It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.

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  • Randy

    Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack can eat her candy. He got sick when he got a mouthful of dick and realized her name was Randy.

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  • Will Smith

    Me at the Oscars when I see Jada Pinkett Smith, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I. Jada 2, can't wait to see it."

    So Will Smith is laughing and then suddenly, Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face.

    Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigga Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers."

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  • Rape

    I got raped by my therapist... now I know where the name comes from!

    Stutter

    "What’s your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.”

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  • Couple

    What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?

    Sum Ting Wong.

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