GRAVEYARD SAVINGS: While leafing through our local newspaper, I noticed this classified ad: “For sale: one used tombstone. Splendid opportunity for a family named Dingle.”
y do people name a kid rob because they want him to rob a bank so they could adopt new kids to lock in there basement for a late night toy
himy name is robert i have no life even my ps4 user name is gay lil_bama
Boy: Why is my sister named Rose?
Dad: Someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head.
Boy: Okay, Dad.
Dad: No problem, Brick.
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not) and Michael Jackson's song Billie Jean sounds like my name and so my mom says, as the song is playing, (my name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum. Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)
So you get a new job, and here something about this guy named mike, The next day you go into the office and mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and Rainbows and stuff, then, a co-worker comes up and says "No one told you mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY *clap clap clap clap*".
There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted Roblox. One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury. One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignore it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened. The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!" Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too.
I got a horse and I named it Hermio-nae.
Once there was a brother and a sister that shares to make a YouTube channel he named it penis dick marathon
What did kings say when they were made king?
Allah ail (All hail) [insert name here]!
Q: What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.
Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."
"Really?" asked a little girl.
"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
My name is Gunter.
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.
So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!
What is the real name of Canada?
Punjabistan
Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.
Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!
Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street."
There are 5 cows in a field 1 of them is the mom the rest are kids one of the kids walked up to the mom and asked why am I named Daisy and then a daisy fell on her head, The 2econt cow came up to the mom and asked why am I named rose and then a rose fell on her head, then the 3rd cow said why am I named violet then a violet fell on her head then the 4th cow walked up and said merrrbere then the mom said shutup sinderblock
I will call my kid Monday, because whenever I see him I felt disappointment
