i was the person that flew into the twin towers, i have a 2 friends that are both twin and when ever they speak i tell them to shut up because if they don't ill make myself explode in them
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it says like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
Their were two friends talking one day Tim tells john " I THINK I'M GAY " john says to Tim what do you mean Tim says "WHEN I GROW UP I WANT TO DRESS LIKE A WOMEN AND SING KARAOKE IN A BAR AND CALL MYSELF" (GILLETTE THE BEST A MAN CAN GET) JOHN SAYS TO TIM I THINK YOUR RIGHT AND THANKS FOR REMINDING ME I NEED TO BUY RAZORS
My friend: I want to cut myself. Me: No don’t do that. *hands lighter* do this instead.
I burnt down a whole forest and asked myself ," is this hell?"
Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself. ", Well I hope Ur hungry I replied, cos they cut off my electric this morning"
i made this up
i was watching a school baseball game, and i was yelling at a kid to take it home, he took the bat and threw it, and then ran away. i asked the teacher/coach what the problem was, and he said the kid was an orphan, and i started laughing so hard
later that night i wondered where he stormed off to after he thew the bat and i thought to myself not home
a man comes to a bar and has a drink then his bully came to him and Stoll his drink then the bully asked "what wrong" the man said that "I trying to kill myself I try getting hit by a Tran but the train went on the different track then I try to jump of a brig but I fell on a bot full of pillows then I try to Posen myself " then the bully say "then what " then man replied you just dunked it "then the man left.
I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that
why did the emu cross the road because it was the chickens days of yeah i hate myself man .
If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
I've got not much of anything to be honest Been in special classes in school Not liked by people Only relationship I've ever had and she cheated on me 31 years old and never had sex pathetic Not very smart Don't look good Hate myself more than anything Been a failure at everything in life Probably be alone forever People treat me like crap Can't do anything right And the list goes on and on
So the question is why haven't I killed myself yet the answer is ,I forget I'm a extreme procrastinator keep just putting it off because I'll probably just fuck it up anyway
Hi!!!! So it has been a very long time, and I have seen that your jokes have been becoming more and more innapropriate. Guys, you don't need to be innapropriate to be cool! You are awesome if you like school, and even if you are gay, or anything in the lgbtq+ category. #PRIDE Anyway, I myself am not lgbtq+, but I don't think people who are should get shamed for it. I love you guys, and stay positive!!!
Son: “mom, is there a thing called «friendship» between a man and a woman ?» Mother: «No Son, unless if he’s gay» Son : «So your friend is gay ?» Mother with herself : «How did he see me with michael omg if my husband discovered my cheating he will kill me» Mother: «Mmm.. Yes» Father loudly: «YES!!!» Mother: «What in the hell ? Are you gay ?» Father with himself: «Am i an idiot why did i yell?! if she discovered I’m gay and her son was made by Paul’s semens she will kill me» Father: «No what are saying ? I’m just talking with myself»
*A few hours later*
Mother: «I will go to visit my mother» Father: «Me too I will go to visit my mother» Son: «Not me too I will go to stud with my friends»
the mother and the father goes to michael’s house and they found their son playing with Michael and Paul is recording them and saying : «that’s why I love you my actual son oh only if your mother knows».
*The End* :D
I didn’t eat breakfast because I’m starving myself
What does the cannibal say when he jumps into the pool?
CANNONBALL! P.S. I made this myself.
"I told my kids not to spend all day at a computer but then I realized I do that myself."
*sing in music lesson* i want to die, i want to die, i want to choke myself, break my neck and die.
Random person: minecraft is actually more peaceful than real life Me: well screw life maybe if i light a fire on myself i will go to minecraft (my excuse for suicide)
I think I might apply for a job cleaning mirrors.
It’s a job I can see myself doing.
