2 people are under the covers. The man says "Quote the Beatles: Cum together!"
what do you call an obnoxiously loud fog horn? A beginner saxophonist
Who is Santa's favourite singer? Elf-is Presley!
What is the most musical part of a chicken?
The drumstick.
You can tune a guitar but you can’t tuna fish 🐠 🐟
The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.
Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like? A: “Wrap” music
What happens when Stephen Hawkins dies Windows players the shutdown music
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?
Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!
What is a cow's favorite move? -- The sound of moooosic.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You follow the Fresh prints.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One's made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.
I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done I said "How bout you give me a standing ovation." I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair. Sad and lonely
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off."
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender and asked, "May I please use the restroom?"
The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."
"Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause!
She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?"
"No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out."
Now, how about that drink?
Here are some skeleton jokes You know the average person tries to hard and works himself to the bone If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone i can give you a real humerous joke I used to play the trumpet now i play the xylo-bone im always happy nothing gets under my skin I made you some turkey for lunch Bone appetit Im glad i had you im no longer bonely Ive got a skele-ton of more jokes but i'm just giving you one more Did you hear about the skeleton ninja he was very skullful (skillful)
Why does the heart ♥️ listen to music 🎶 a lot? Because it loves feeling the beat.
If only Karen Carpenter had eaten Mama Cass's sandwich...
When a school shooter walks to the intercom and plays Pumped Up Kicks.
What is 14 inches long and starts with D
A Dookie From GREEN DAY
