Mum

Mum Jokes

Food

What's your mum's favourite food?

Chicken nuggets! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Orphan

Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.

(Also, I banged ya mum ;))

  • 9
  • Orphan

    An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.

  • 2
  • Sleep

    What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.

    Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...

    Son

    Rhydon- son.

    Rhydon? - mum.

    RHYDON DEEZ NUTS! - son.

    Jeez, ur like ur father in bed- mum.

    XD

    Mom

    Me and my mom order Chinese food.

    My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."

    Milf

    I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

    My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."

    Skeleton

    Why didn't the bitch ass skeleton fly?

    'Cause me mum flew all the way and Trevor is a boofahead.

    Banana

    What does a baby banana call her mum? Na na, get it? Instead of ma ma.

    Adoption

    So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)