Mum jokes

Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.

What's your mum's favourite food?

Chicken nuggets! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.

(Also, I banged ya mum ;))

An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.

What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.

Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...

Rhydon- son.

Rhydon? - mum.

RHYDON DEEZ NUTS! - son.

Jeez, ur like ur father in bed- mum.

XD

Me and my mom order Chinese food.

My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."

Why does my mum eat carrots?

Your mum is so ugly that aliens don’t come here.

Why didn't the bitch ass skeleton fly?

'Cause me mum flew all the way and Trevor is a boofahead.

Ur mum gay.

Your mum so fat she's diabetic... LOL

Your mum lol teehee!

What does a baby banana call her mum? Na na, get it? Instead of ma ma.

Evan, yo mum rode on my big PP love, dad.

So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)

Mum is the best!

I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics, and she said I had to eat more vegetables.

Ur mum homo.