Mum jokes
Why did the octopus cry?
Because his mum said he looked like Johnny Depp.
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!
Yesterday I was fucking my sister, and she said, "You fuck a lot like dad." I said, "Really? Mum said that too."
Your mum is so poor, she can't afford free samples.
Why did your mum touch me? Because she was a pedo.
Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?
Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.
Why did Brandon's mum chase him with a knife? Because he didn't let her cum first!
Why was Aaron's mum sad? The bus missed Aaron.
Why does Adam sleep early so his mum and stepdad can fuck on his bed?
Your mum gay, lol.
My mum.
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."
What's thick, 12 inches, and in your mum's throat?
My penis.
Your mum!
Ur mum gay, lul.
I go balls deep in your mum with no power.
Your mum is so fat Les Dawson would agree with me that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand, she throws it.
Your mum is so stupid, she tried to take the crown off a "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster so that she could become the new queen of England.
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...