Mum

Mum jokes

An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"

Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"

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  • Yesterday I was fucking my sister, and she said, "You fuck a lot like dad." I said, "Really? Mum said that too."

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  • Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?

    Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.

    Why did Brandon's mum chase him with a knife? Because he didn't let her cum first!

    Your mum is so fat Les Dawson would agree with me that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand, she throws it.

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  • Your mum is so stupid, she tried to take the crown off a "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster so that she could become the new queen of England.

    If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...

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