Ur mum's queef was like a fucking hurricane!
What is a queef?
Something your mum did in bed last night. 😩😩😩🍑🍑🍑🌬️🌬️🌬️🌪️🌪️🌪️
You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."
Your mom is so ugly that when she went to rob a bank, they had to turn the cameras off.
Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face, and he asks her, "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face, mother?"
His mother replies, "To make myself beautiful, Johnny."
A few minutes later, she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her, "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"
suk ya mums bum
What do you get when you cross mums and makeup?
Beauty!
When I was 14, my mum caught me wanking, and she slapped me across the face. A couple weeks later, my dad caught me having a beer, and he made me drink 40 beers. I just thought, "Well, I'm glad he didn't catch me wanking."
Your mum sunk in the pool because she had a big butt.
Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Tina, the neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Tina is actually your sister."
The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again, and she is even hotter!"
Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Peny, the other neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhhh, I wish you hadn't said that. Peny is also your sister."
This went on a couple of times, and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.
Son: "Mum, I am so mad at Dad! I fell in love with six girls, but I can't date any of them because Daddy is their father!"
The mother hugs him affectionately and says:
"My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him. He is not your father!"
Where do you find an orphan? Just look for your mum.
My Mum texted me she had lost her phone.
A shop assistant is helping a little boy who can't find his mum in the supermarket.
He asks the boy, "What's she like?"
The boy says, "Big Cocks and vodka!"
What do you call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum.
I fiddled your mum last night, she fucking moaned like a fucking wilder beast.
Your mum lolololollollollololollolololllol! Find her reboot card lmfao lolololol.
Why does Blake like lakes? Because of cake!
Why did the ground crack? Because of your mum!
What did the orphan say when his mum asked, "What do you want for dinner?"
He replied, " "
Son: Dad, how was I born?
Dad: Your mum's a hoe.
Son: OK, what's a hoe?
Dad: Your mum.
