Little Johnny was playing with his train and said all you motherf*ckers who want to get off get off and all you motherf*ckers who want to get on get on his mother here's him and said is that you cussing. The mother said go to your room for 1 hour little Johnny goes to his room then little johnny comes back one hour later and said all you motherf*ckers who wanna get off get off and all you motherf*ckers who wanna get on get on and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay go ask the b*tch in the kitchen.
on the first day of school, the teacher asked a student " what are your parent's names?" the student replied " my father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is smiling" the teacher said " are you kidding" the student said, "no kidding is my brother I am joking."
mother got shot, damn father got shot, damn sister got shot, damn brother got shot, damn auntie running away with a shot gun
Dad: Alive Brother:orphan(fault=Mother) Me:dead on the inside but sadly alive Mother:Alive... Wait a minute.. I thought you were dead mom.. right your dead to me atleast.
IVE HEARD STORIES OF MY MOTHER SHE WAS A TEENAGER AND LEFT ME IN THE BLENDER BUT LUCKILY THE POWER CUT OUT LIKE AT THE ORPAHNAGE
Kris
Damn this shit!
Megan Thee stalingeon What!
Kris My mother is a fucker!
The whole world
OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Old.mother riley, had a fat cow.. she milked it and milked it but didnt know how, she pulled his tail, pulled his tits.. old mother riley was covered in sh!tđź’©
I was walking down the streets with my parents and my sister, my mum said "step on a crack break your mother's back" I stepped on a crack, my sister has been in the hospital ever since
"Lizzie Borden took an axe And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one. "
a man dies and goes to heaven he sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for, he replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. he said that mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincon's once, and George Washington's never. the man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Bidden's is the one keeping the hurricane's to speed
Old soviet joke. Who is your mother? Our great Soviet country. Who is your father? Our dear comrade Stalin. What's your greatest desire? Becoming an orphan.
me: im home ma heres her with a new dad her: go hang wit someone :me gets the noose goes to fav tree i love you ma 🙂
I took my mother in law out today...
I love being a sniper...
i will never forget my mother and fathers last words
WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE
What’s and orphans favorite holidays mothers and Father’s Day
i was watching my son play at the park and a lady asked me. "which one is yours" and for fun i said "i don't know i'm still choosing".
Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: mom next year for the carnival can I dress up as a princess? the mother replies: why? you don't like the ice lolly dress from the last year?
i gave an orphan 5 dollars and i said "spend it on a candy bar" i came back 5 minutes later and he didn't have a candy bar. so i look over and i see that he has a piggy bank that has 40$ and i said where did you get that? he said for being homeless, and i said what are you going to spend it on he looked at me and said "i'm going to pay money for a mother."
So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back,". The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking. The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says "step on a line and you break your father's spine,". The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE,". The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
