*An obese depressed mother is trying to tie a noose but can't reach it so she calls her son for help* *a few minutes later* son: there mother: where did you learn to tie such a good noose? son: dad showed me before he died mother: DAM HIM TO HE- *slips and noose chokes her to death*
So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says "teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But beforeclass ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the studentsclear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well come with me out to my dads car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"
when a white person says the n word
black people: yall mother fu...rs aint gonna believe dis shit
Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.
roses are red violets are blue...i fucked your mothers ass and she had you
A FED EX plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa but the cargo door wasn't shut properly but only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane?
Time's up! You took too long you only had 4 seconds to answer it.
How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door?
Open the fridge, put the elephant in and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?
Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door.
Why did sally fall off the swing?
Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators.
How did she survive?
Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off. But she was rescued 8 minutes later.
I read the joke "what we breath is called oxygen,that is African food" to my African friend,but he is breathing in tears from his mother dying of hunger...
God needed and extra 2 hands to make your fat ass of a mother.
I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus, "Please send me a sibling" Santa Claus wrote him back and said "okay, send me your mother"
The pie tasted weird today. Then I realized that my mother likes cooking pie WITH human flesh from C town.
Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner. His mother says, “I don’t like your friends”. Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”
your mothers hair line is sooooooo long cause dora the explora could not explore it
orphans have 263 days on a calendar because they dont have mothers or fathers day.
Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She tort them all to pull out on time.
why do orphans only have 354 days?
cause they are missing mothers and fathers day
When babies kick their mother it'd okay but when I do it, it's a crime...
I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day... Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away... I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand... When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.
knock knock who's there? Mother! Mother who. its your mother.
What did the doctor say to the mother after delivering the baby? Sorry.
