"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"But I'm not dead yet!"
"But we're not there yet."
How is the world like dirt?
Because we don't think twice about it.
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."
The more suicidal people there are, the fewer suicidal people there are.
What is the best cure for aging?
Suicide.
A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I'm sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live."
The man says "10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?"
The doctor calmly replies "Nine".
The reason why the "eating a tide pod" trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"What? But I’m not dead yet!"
"And we’re not there yet."
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can watch the expression on their face.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
Hey, did you know that Stephen Hawking predicted the end of the world?
Well, not really. He predicted the end of *his* world.
People say that life is short.
I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.
Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.
These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.
An apple a day, or you'll die anyway.
You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.
We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.
Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.
Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?
He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"
