Morbid jokes
What's hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies?
My dick.
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar, just kidding.
What’s red and goes 100 miles per hour?
Babies in a blender.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
What's the square root of your dead?
9/11.
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
I like my women like I like my steak...
Bloody.
People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You would too if your name was "Raraaaughhaugh."
Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.
Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.
I am like currency; people always trade me out for someone better.
How do you get a Japanese fanclub?
Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!
Hey anime girl, I hope you know that Jayden is a boy and we got back together.
Hahahaha, you never had a chance, so hahahaha!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Disabled.