Morbid jokes
Humans and sharks have something in common: the great ones are always white.
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
What makes sad people jump? A bridge.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the retard's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.
"Bippidy boppidy boo! Bill Cosby is coming for you!"
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
This isn't ketchup.
Roblox Talent Shows be like:
Host: Next Up is Bob!
Bob: Hi! I'll be singing Pian-
*Buzzing Noises*
Judges: You suck!
Bob: I'm reporting!
*Bob get's kicked from the server*
What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.
What do you call terrible milk?
Udder Bullshit.
Why did the family move away?
Because they lost their son.
How do I feed the baby with my pants on?
"Mine is 3 inches."
"That's not very lo..."
"From the ground."
Whoever invented school, I hope you burn in hell.
School and Boot Camp are a lot alike. The only difference is that in school, you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”