Morbid jokes

Have you heard about the new Russian STD? Rottsmikokov.

What does a rock and a girl have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."

I gave up hope and I liked it!!

I take meds to feel fantastic! (I kissed a boy{but fed up lyrics})

Part 1: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.

Part 2: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.

Part 3: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.

Part 4: Guess what... two men were walking down the way when the second one fell in the sewers and died... The first one was lonely.

What is Mozart doing right now? -- Decomposing.

Better to cum in the sink... than to sink in the cum.

So Paul Walker made a rap cover. It is called "Straight Out of Windshield."

I blend children to make a good living.

I work at a morgue and we wrap the bodies in bubble wrap.

I was working the night shift and just looking at the security cameras, but then I heard popping behind me!

What do women and moldy bread have in common?

A yeast infection.

Did Jesus die a virgin?

Of course not, he got nailed before he died!

Hey, wanna hear an abortion joke? Never mind, I can't deliver it.

"Why do people call Americans excessive?"

"It was probably because of WWII."

"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"

So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculates in a female's mouth and she swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other, swishing it together in each other's mouth, and it forms a rainbow.

And a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on a female's face and then punches her in the nose, causing her to bleed. That's why it's called a strawberry shortcake.

What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?

Cinco De Mayo.

Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?

A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.

One of the most popular documentaries of the 2010’s was “Jiro Dreams of Sushi.”

One of the least popular documentaries was “Jiro’s Nightmare of Ass-Rape.”

I don't see why Africans complain about not having water. They have free chocolate milk.

What makes sad people jump? A bridge.