Morbid jokes
What makes sad people jump? A bridge.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the retard's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.
"Bippidy boppidy boo! Bill Cosby is coming for you!"
Roblox Talent Shows be like:
Host: Next Up is Bob!
Bob: Hi! I'll be singing Pian-
*Buzzing Noises*
Judges: You suck!
Bob: I'm reporting!
*Bob get's kicked from the server*
What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.
What do you call terrible milk?
Udder Bullshit.
Why did the family move away?
Because they lost their son.
How do I feed the baby with my pants on?
"Mine is 3 inches."
"That's not very lo..."
"From the ground."
Whoever invented school, I hope you burn in hell.
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
This isn't ketchup.
School and Boot Camp are a lot alike. The only difference is that in school, you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”
What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?
Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.
What's a man's favorite thing that starts with "m" and ends with "arriage?"
Miscarriage.
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"