Money jokes
Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?
A. A loaded potato.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.
We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.
It only takes 4 inches to please a woman.
And it doesn’t matter if it’s credit or debit.
There once was a man named Dave who dug up a prostitutes grave, she was as moldy as shit and missing a tit, but think of all the money he saved
If the government can print money,
Then why are we paying taxes?
Why is prostitution illegal?
Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.
What’s the difference between chocolate and people?
You can’t buy people nowadays.
How was copper wire invented?
Two Jewish people fighting over a penny.
Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.
Why did the rapper go broke?
He kept dropping dimes.
Just give me my money (clap clap clap).
How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?
Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.
What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?
One does it for the cash, the other for the views.
What do strippers and butter have in common?
Both spread for bread.
Why did the football player go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.
Why did the Jew get an electric car?
Because he was afraid of the gas.
How do rappers make their money?
By dropping dimes.
Why did the booty get a job?
To make ends meet!
A son walks up to his dad and says, "I'm so gay right now!"
"HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT!!!" screams the dad.
"No, gay as in HAPPY," says the confused son, "I'm so happy right now!"
"Oh," says the dad, "why are you happy?"
Then the son said, "Because I just got 20 dollars for sucking a guy off."