Mom's jokes

My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(

What did the mom say to the twins?

"Go crash a plane!"

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

Your mom is so fat Buzz Lightyear had to say "To infinity to beyond" to leave her house.

What stresses a baby strawberry out?

When its mom is in a jam.

I like to make your mom jokes.

Because they're easy like your mom.

Your mom is so fat that when she went on top of one of the Twin Towers, it collapsed.

Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.

Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!

What's your mom and a dog got in common?

Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.

What does your mom say when she is working?

Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.

The earth was once flat... until they buried your mom.

Your mom does not need the internet. She's already worldwide.

Your mom is so fat Thanos had to snap twice.

Your mum (mom) so fat, she wore a yellow T-shirt, they said "Taxi!"

Why did the man get run over?

Ur mom XD

Your mom said my cum tastes like Captain Crunch, bitch.

About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."

I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.

Still waiting on an answer.

Tell an orphan "your mom", but then remember he doesn't have one.