Mom

Mom jokes

You wonder and you wonder. Grandma said you better go to bed now. Tell your dad and grandpa, and your dad and your mom.

These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"

My mom told me she couldn't open the garage door. Then it opened up to me that it wasn't broke anymore.

So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.

He'll probably leave her alone now.

He doesn't eat vegetables.

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    • So, my mom has hit me with a flip flop when I was bad, and when I cheated on my girl, right when the other girl came in, a flip flop came flying in the room.

    One weekend some distant family members that I hadn't met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn't met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help).

    My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes and told me they both ended up dying.

    Well, SO-RRY, but I didn't know they were conjoined twins.

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    • A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"

    The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."

    The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"

    The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."

    The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"

    The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"

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    • Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.

    So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)