My life.
Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you just finish me off already?
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "My wife just died of cancer, and my alcohol addiction is tearing my family apart."
The bartender responds, saying "Oh" sympathetically. "Sucks to be you!" the bartender yells, throwing a bottle of wine at the horse.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
Never kill an orphan, because then that will end their misery.
You know I wish life was shorter?
I want it over.
What's the similarity between your money and your life?
It just keeps going down.
Me: I'ma sign up to be a clown.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because my life is a joke. 😂
Why did the orphan kill himself when he found out who his dad was? Because he found out his dad was Donald Trump.
My life is like a grenade... I pull off the ring and, BOOM, it explodes!
If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.
My life, get it, 'cause I don't got one.
