Misery Jokes

Suicidal thoughts aren’t nice, but nor is life. So why not get them both done and over with?

What is the difference between a dead baby and an orphan?

The dead baby happened on purpose while the orphan came out as an accident!

I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.

Who needs April Fool's when your life is a joke?

What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?

For me, life.

I was walking and I saw a girl crying, and she told me to take her dollhouse and I asked why. She said because I don't have one.

"Like if u cry everytime."

I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.

(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?

Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"

Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."

Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.

This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).

Why can't orphans breathe? They are drowning in their own tears.

A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."

(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)