Miscellaneous jokes
Have you seen the new movie "Constipated"?
No, it hasn't come out yet.
Have you ever heard of the eye tear?
Me either.
What do you call an elephant and a rhino mix?
Helliphino!
Cancer
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Your life? Wanna hear a sadder one?
My life.
Wanna hear a joke about corn?
Never mind, it's too corny.
Want to hear a joke about pizza?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
If seagulls fly over the sea, what flies over the bay?
Bagels.
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
Wanna hear a joke? You.
Jacob has a small penis.
Why did the man fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a refrigerator at him.
So two guys walk into a bar. One says, "Can I have something to drink?"
The other says, "You wish!" LOLOLOLOLOLOLO dab on the haters - Jake Paul wreeeeecckkked.................... DABDABDABDBABABDBABDBABDBABDBDABDBsabBaDBAD,,,,,,,,,,five fo e the winners. KILL MATPAT, THE EARTH IS FLAT AND A DONUT
I accidentally walked on the Lego Batman mask.
I want my fucking feet back!
Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.
Q: What was the name of Michael Jackson's last book?
A: The ins and outs of child rearing.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day.
Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" shouts Molly.
"Correct," says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack's pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" she shouts.
"Correct again," says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to crack it in half!"
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It didn't; it got stuck in a crack.
F*ck my ass.
There were three guys stranded on a desert island. Each was granted one wish by a genie that found them. The first guy said, "I wish to go back home." The second guy says the same, and the third guy said, "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here."