Mind jokes
Q: Get up for a chair joke!
A: Oh, never mind, you can sit down.
I wish Stephen Hawking could've just walked—oh wait, never mind.
What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.
Stephen Hawking is so lucky to go to heaven.
Oh never mind, here comes the stairway.
So a girl says to her ex, "I can't get you out of my mind, the boyfriend I knew." The girl replies, "I see you in everything, like when I'm walking down the street, even at work, like trash cans are everywhere."
Is depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle.
Want to hear a joke about a guy losing fingers?
Never mind, it’s too pointless.
Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.
What do you call a broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless!
I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.
Do you want to hear a paper joke?
Never mind, it is tearable.
What was the last thing to go through the terrorist's mind? The detonator.
What did Santa use as a candy cane?
Wait, wait, I said it wrong.
Okay.
What did Santa use to do his garden...never mind.
There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.
Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism?
Teacher: What?
Boy: Well... never mind, he's well supported.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind your f***ing business like damn.
At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it's pointless!
Want to hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
I see some objects over there... oh, never mind, that's a woman.