Husband: "I think I might take a picture of your breasts and frame it."
Wife: "I think I'll take a picture of your penis and enlarge it."
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.
Guys, we need to stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents might get upset. Oh, wait... never mind.
"I think my draco might be gay. Why? 'Cause he blow niggas."
Nardo Wick
Your career might be in the north, but it's going south :)
What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.
There's a kid named Little Johnny who would always cuss. Well, one day, he was sitting in class and the teacher said, "Let's play a game." So the game was she calls out a letter and someone raises her hand and tells her a word that begins with that letter. The teacher says "A". Little Johnny raises his hand and the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, he might say something like a**." So the teacher calls on Sally. Sally says "apple". The teacher says "B". Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher thought, "No, he might say something like b!tch." So the teacher goes all the way to R. The teacher says "R". Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Me, me, please, I really know one." Then the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, there's no cuss word that starts with R," so she said, "Okay, Johnny, give me a word that starts with R." Little Johnny says, "A rat!" and the teacher, very pleased, says, "Very good, Johnny. What type of rat?" Little Johnny says, "A big gosh damn mother freaker."
Sorry, I had to edit some word, but y'all know what I meant.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.
Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.
Why are orphans so happy on Christmas? Because they might get a family.
Guys, stop making jokes about blind people, they might s... never mind, continue.
Why is it bad to climb a tree?
You might fall on an orphan! 🫥
You might think these jokes are plane.
What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy?
"Shhhhhhh, this might hurt a little."
Hey you, the person who's scrolling, I know you might have depression and some feel they can't talk to anyone about it, so in the comments please, if you need to talk to others, if you comment about it and say you need to talk to someone, I promise you that I will talk to you. You are not alone, and even though it seems it won't change and get better, it will, I promise.
Please no harsh comments toward each other.
