How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?
I don't know, I can never see them
“You da bomb!” “No, you da bomb!”
In the US, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.
All school meetings introductions:
Grade School; “Welcome Girls and Boys!”
Middle School; “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!”
High School; “Fingerers and fingerees,”
doctors in the middle ages, Plague doctor: "i must have some herbs to block out bad air" docters now: "God, wtf were we doing back then"
Don’t make jokes about 9\11 my dad was the best Middle Eastern pilot
Her last name starts with a and ends with d and the middle letters are poo
Riddle me this batman, Whats long round and has cum in the middle Batman: A dick Riddler: NO NO NOOOO iT'S A cuCUMber
One time their was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track a girl said excuse me can you move please I’m trying than the man stopped her sentence and said how is your t shirt so clean than she said back easy hung it up
A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel and when all the sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says father what is that? He says this sister is the wand of life. The nun says good, now go stick it in that camels ass and let’s get the hell outa here!
When I was in middle school, I was kidnapped by a terrorist organization. Al-gebra.
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the middle east
the reason they attacked the towers is because the terrorists thought the towers were giant Middle fingers pointed at them. What silly saudis.
What’s a foot on one end, a foot on the other end, and a foot in the middle.
A meter stick
What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.
A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.'' “I still don't get it” responded the Little Johnny. “Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then...good night” said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!''
In middle school, we had to create words with magnet letters. Some kid laid the word "Animal Therapist". I changed one space and got sent home :/
I walk on on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said mum, you really spoil those dogs!
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because my and the gorilla had too much to drink.
Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same. The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr Independent and isists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!
