Middle Jokes

One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the middle east

Me and Jesus are really close he even turns the light on for me when i go pee in the middle of the, well that is what i thought until the fridge was wet.

Young Couple gets banned from church.

There were three couples, one elderly, one middle aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.

After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!"So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then he asks the middle aged couple the same question "Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.

"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me! I took her right there."

"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"

"We understand," says the husband, "We were banned from the grocery store, too."

What’s a foot on one end, a foot on the other end, and a foot in the middle.

A meter stick

Why is the blind kid popular?

He can't see the middle fingers.

Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9 but why was 10 scared?beauce it was in the middle of 9 11

once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad so his dad said yes then he ask what is that and his dad said it a chow chow train the next day he wanted to shower with his mom so she said yes he ask again what is that and she said it was a tunnel with light the same day he wanted to sleep with them and they said yes in the middle of the night he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in

why was the kid not able to cross the hallway? answer: the school shooter already shot him in the middle of the hallway

What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.

A Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.

But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share ?’ ''Yes madam...My daddy told me a story about my Mom " “OK, let’s hear” said the teacher.

“My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit”. “She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife”. “She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”

Pin drop silence in the class !!

''Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher “What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story ?”

“Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk```...!!!”

I walk on on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said mum, you really spoil those dogs!

In middle school, we had to create words with magnet letters. Some kid laid the word "Animal Therapist". I changed one space and got sent home :/

Why was 6 afraid 7 because 7 8 9 but why was 10 scared cause he is right in the middle of 9 11

Why is the number 10 always scared Answer:He’s in the middle of 9/11

why was 6 afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9 so what was 10😱 scar of because him was in the middle of 9 11

Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because my and the gorilla had too much to drink.

What was the winning play at the leper football game?

A hand off up the middle.