Michael jokes
Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?
He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.
I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.
Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.
What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids turn them on.
Memes
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.
Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?
A. Crayons.
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
What does Michael Jackson like to eat? Little wieners.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
When Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital, immediately the maternity ward was put on lockdown.
Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!
What do Michael Jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket.
What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."
What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."
Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett? Six hours.
Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?
Because there were only 20 of them.