Michael jokes
In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.
I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.
Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.
What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids turn them on.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?
He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
Memes
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.
Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?
Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.
What does Michael Jackson like to eat? Little wieners.
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!
Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite drink? Tea-hee-hee!
What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."
When Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital, immediately the maternity ward was put on lockdown.
Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?
Because there were only 20 of them.
What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?
Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.
What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."