What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
Your forehead's so big that Michael Jackson could moonwalk across that b*tch.
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."
I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.
Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.
What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...
Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite poker hand?
Jacks and 5.
Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."
What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."
What do Michael Jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket.
What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?
Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite drink? Tea-hee-hee!
Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?
Because there were only 20 of them.
When Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital, immediately the maternity ward was put on lockdown.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett? Six hours.
Why does Michael Jackson like Chef Boyardee? He likes the little balls.
