Michael jokes
Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?
He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
Michael Jackson goes to the doctor.
Michael Jackson: "Help, doctor, I've been shot!" Doctor: "I can't fix that, but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again."
Why did Michael Jackson go to jail? He was feeling a little Randy.
What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song?
Beat It.
Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.
I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.
Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.
What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids turn them on.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite drink? Tea-hee-hee!
What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?
Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.
What do Michael Jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket.
What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."
What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett? Six hours.