Michael jokes
Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids turn them on.
I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.
Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.
Memes
What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?
Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.
What do Michael Jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."
What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."
Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.
Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?
Because there were only 20 of them.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite drink? Tea-hee-hee!
Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!
What Costco food is associated with Michael Joseph Jackson?
The Jackson dog. It's 49-year-old sausage between 6-year-old buns.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett? Six hours.
Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?
Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.