Metaphor jokes
What does a sex offender and Santa have in common?
They will come down your "chimney" tonight.
I'm always hanging in there.
Hanging on the wall.
I used to have a fear of hurdles.
But I got over it.
Oh my gods they’re watching us oh my god
When I hit a home run, I finally felt what it was like to have a home.
What's the difference between a maze and a depressed life? One of them you can find a way out of.
Alabama gene pools are so shallow, when they freeze over, it's just snow.
Life is like a game of chess.
I don’t know how to play chess.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
I'm a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail? A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
Life is like a dick, it just gets hard for no reason.
My future is so bright, I need a flashlight to see where I'm going.
Community talk
oh you're stepping on my left foot its hurting but thats okay, cos im... in your wayy....
On maps, Cuba is crocodile-shaped, but when I look at a flat paper outline, I cannot see the beautiful farm on the crocodile’s belly. I can’t find the palm trees, or bright coral beaches where flying fish leap, gleaming like rainbows.
end of part 3start of part 4 Box startsSometimes, I feel like a rolling wave of the sea, a wave that can only belong in between the two solid shores.
Sometimes, I feel like a bridge, or a storm.
Once upon a time a site very much not far away had like a lot of people. Then some stuff happened and now it's like 6 feet under