Mental Health jokes
To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
How do you get your grass to cut itself?
Make it depressed.
Are you depression? 'Cause you're always on my mind~
My suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks.
What do you call an emo with a knife?
A cutting board.
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.
What do you call an emo strip club?
Suicidal Thots.
When there are more suicidal people, it means there are fewer suicidal people. That means there is an infinite generator of them.
Isn't it ironic that the actually nice people tend to be suicidal?
Think about it: suicide exists to make sure bad people bother each other instead.
Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?
Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.
When you're sad, don't feel down about yourself. Break a leg, and you'll forget all about it.
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
You know what an emo gets for his birthday? A rope.
Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.
Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.
What do you call a gay person in Antarctica?
Bi-Polar.
What's an emo's least favorite show?
Dr. Phil.
My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.
What is a group of depressed kids called? They are called the "Suicide Squad."