Mental Health jokes

I'd make an emo joke, but that would be cutting a little too close.

I called the suicide hotline in Iraq. The person got excited and asked if I can drive a truck.

If depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with huge amounts of autism, that would be me.

Your momma's so depressed, she shot herself in the head hoping she'd die.

Dave got a new job at the suicide hotline.

The manager shows him to his desk and Dave has a seat.

The manager says, "Remember! Your job is to make sure that the person at the other end of the line does not kill himself, no matter what! That's the one thing you have to do!"

Dave says "No problem! I will do exactly what you just told me!" and the manager leaves him to his job.

A few minutes, later Dave's phone rings.

"Hello?" Dave answers. No response for a few seconds, then a voice appears.

"My wife cheated on me," a man says. The man on the other end of the line is clearly depressed.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Dave says.

"I found out that she's been doing it for months; she says I don't treat her well enough. She's filing for divorce and threatening to take the kids from me. I don't know what to do. I just took up drinking and gambling, the pain goes away at first but it always comes back. I don't think I can even afford to see a psychiatrist; money is tight as it always is. I wish I could manage my finances better... I just don't see any way out. I think the only thing I can do that makes sense is to just kill myself."

Dave pauses for a moment, thinks, and then he asks:

"Wouldn't it make more sense to kill her?"

I hope ya'll that have depression kys; you are worthless trash.

Just kidding.

I used to be into fitness. But running from my problems got exhausting.

Q. What's the biggest cause of infant drownings? A. Postpartum depression.

Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?

Because they are really committed to their cause.

My anxiety has anxiety.

What do you call an emo friend group?

The Suicide Squad.

My parents found my YT channel. I hate myself now, and I'm emotional.

SELF HARM

What do you call a group of emos about to jump off a bridge? Suicide Squad.

Guys, I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things.

*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*

There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.

Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?

Because they're always cutting.

What is depressing, alone, chronic, and messed up? Me.

If I die, does my depression die with me?

I got a toaster for my birthday and said, "Yay, new bath bomb!"

A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.