Mental Health jokes
Me: Mom, I'm tired.
Mom: "Then go to sleep."
Me: No, you don't understand-
Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
To whomever stole my anti-depression pills, I hope you're happy now.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, bleach.
All my jokes are cries for help.
INCLUDING THIS ONE.
I can hear the whole world booing me.
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?
He got to cut himself.
Do you know why I wish grass was emo? So it can cut itself.
There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.
Hey, can't wait to meet you! So join the crippling depression family!!
What does my head and hell have in common?
They both have demons in them.
Where do you find the best comedians?
In the funny farm!
I wish I could be as visible as my depression is.
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. Depression who? Depression you!
Teacher: Who here has thought about committing suicide?
Half of the class: *raises hand*
Teacher: ...
The half of the class: *Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it*
To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you are happy now.