Men

Men Jokes

Beer Bottle

How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?

A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.

Kilt

Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.

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  • Nursery Rhyme

    "Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.... All the king's horses and all the king's men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."

    "Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all

    Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock

    when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all"

    Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?

    Adult

    πŸ€” πŸ€” πŸ€” Why did a β™Ώ why did a physically handicapped πŸ‘¨ gay man that is a sex worker received $35.00 for a blowjob from gay men in the LGBT community? because he can suck the chrome of a tail pipe 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌

    Trans Men

    What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?

    Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."

    (I'm a trans man myself lol)

    Man

    Two men were bartering over a marble slab. A lot of counter-offers were made.

    Condom

    A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."

    Man

    What do you call an Irish man that breaks up fights?

    Liam Malone.

    Man

    An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day.

    After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Well, then u can't have a beer."

    Another 20 minutes passes and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips.

    The old man asks, "Son, can I have some of your chips?" The boy asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your dick touch your asshole?" The old man says, "It sure can." The boy says, "Well good, then go fuck yourself, these are my chips."

    Adult

    Why are there so many black men in the NBA that only want to play basketball on a all black basketball team? because they prefer to suck a long and thick big black dick

    Tractor

    She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!

    Wikipedia

    I went to the β€œlists of women” page on Wikipedia and it was blank.

    Either, Wikipedia is proving women do not exist or John Cena decided to come out as transgender.

    Stool

    Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?

    A: Flip the chair upside down.

    Blonde

    Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.

    Mother

    What does a mother fear most?

    Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.

    Oreo

    What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?

    An Oreo.