Memory jokes

One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"

Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"

Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.

My depression: hey, what's up!

Me: go away.

My depression: well how rude.

Me: 🙄.

My depression: remember that one time......

Me: no, don't even.

My depression: that we.....

Me: nope.

My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.

Me: 😳😶😟.

My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.

What was I saying again?

Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...

Deja-poo.

The sense or feeling you have dealt with this crap in the past.

Whenever my grandparents apologize, I say "forgive and forget". They are really obedient.

If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.

Elephants never forget.

Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted me and my dad and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home.

So anyway, this old guy goes to the doctors. The doctor says, "It's bad news, you've got cancer and Alzheimer's." The old guy replies, "At least I've not got cancer!"

A cop pulls over an old man.

The cop walks up to the old man and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

The old man said, "No."

Lady: Will you fuck me?

Man: No, I don’t have a penis.

Lady pulls down man's pants and looks in them. "Yes, you do!" she says.

Man: Oh, I forgot it was there.

I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?

Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.

I forgot the joke.

Your Momma's so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.

One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb?"

The other computer replied, "Because I have low memory."

What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!

So, my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn't actually tell me the joke.

Grandma told me that when she passed away she wants to be a tree, and so she could live forever.

But I'm not gonna lie, it was a nice toasty fire...