Mei jokes

Me: Your ugly...

Person: I'm not your mirror...

Me: I never told you to be my mirror :p

Me: Dad, my phone is broken.

Dad: How?

Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.

Dad: Stupid.

Me: I saw your parents yesterday.

Orphan girl: Where?

Me: The coffin was still open.

Me: Help, I'm stuck in a trap.

Friend: What kind?

Me: It's called life. Yeah, I've been trying to get out of it for six years now, it just won't let me go.

Friend: That's not funny..

Me: Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to.

Friend: I'm calling your mom.

Me: She knows.

Friend: What's she doing to help, then?

Me: She's supposed to help?

Friend: Have you told your dad?

Me: I will when he comes back.

Friend: Where is he?

Me: I don't know, he's been gone for 15 years.

Friend: ....

Me: What?

Friend: Why?

Me: Why what?

Friend: Why would you joke like that?

Me: I was joking..

Friend: I know.

Me: Oh. I didn't know.

Friend:...

Me: Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow... Maybe...

My friend: What are you doing?

Me: I'm making holy water.

My friend: How?

Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.

Bully: Shut up.

Me: I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up.

Bully: How is your girlfriend?

Me: I don't have one!

Bully: I know!

Me: How are your parents?

*Walks out of orphanage*

My sister asked where is my book.... me: "itti badi nak hai gufa jaisi dhund us mei."

My teacher: Oliver will be transitioning.

Me: tRaNsItIoNiNg!!!!

My teacher: He will be transitioning from primary school to secondary school.

Me: I thought you meant another transitioning...

Me: I want a PS5.

Dad: Alright, I will say no.

I was in school yesterday and I saw this emo kid with a new cut, so I said, "I like ya cut g." And I slapped him. I don't know why I got in so much trouble. All I did was slap his wrist.

What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite piano note? A minor.

A mosquito with a Mario hat on flies on you saying, "It's-a me, Malario!"

What does Michael Jackson do with his meat? "Just beat it". His song btw lol.

I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are he he.