Bf:Hey what ya doing?
Gf:just lying in bed
Bf:just lying in bed?
Gf:and eating cereal
Bf:Ha nice,what would you do if i was in bed next to you...?
Gf:eat my cereal
Bf:i mean if the cereal wasnt there
Gf:id get out of bed and get more cereal
Tip for Kindness for the day.
Tip one. Always speak up for your self. Yes, letting someone else speak up for you is nice but also speak up for your self be brave if a mean bully comes along. Speak up for your self and others if they need it. Best-Gwen
Junkyard dogs may be mean, but the meanest dogs are the ones guarding concentration camps.
Immobile means I'm mobile in my books.
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): How are you doing? Me, an autist: Pretty bad honestly. Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.
If a fly loses its wings is it now a walk wait a minute I found out a mind blower so the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun doesn't that mean all country's are the called the 3rd country of 🌎 if I get 10 likes I'll do one mind blowing facts daily
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral. This friend asks his wife "Can I say a word?" "Of course" she says. The man stands up and says "Plethora" The man's wife says "Thanks, it means a lot"
A DEPRESSED GUY WALKS INTO A BAR AND SAYS "CAN I GET SHOT".THE BARTENDER THEN SAYS "YOU MEAN CAN YOU GET A SHOT RIGHT?THE BARTENDER THEN SAYS "WELL..........WHAT DRINK WOULD YOU LIKE?THE DEPRESSED THEN RESPONDS WITH A "NO I REALLY WANT TO GET SHOT.
Friend: I broke up with Sara.
Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.
Friend: How did her p*ssy feel?
Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.
Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!?!
(Im asian so i can say this). If I say that we are made of money, that just means you can fit pennies through our little eye slits and we can save them for you in there!
I can't believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean... All I did was take a day off!
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her and he says what’s that mama she says that’s just and old bear he says he’s a mean bear she says why’s that he says he’s got blood in on eye and shit in the other
What starts with s and ends with erm? SuperM. This means both matrix and master so take out the u and then you just get master. When you think of sperm you think of porn. If your a master at something your also a star at it. So you get porn star.
Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her drivers test. Mom: Okay, any questions? Sara: Yes. I actally don't know what "yield " means Mom:Don't worry Hon. No one does.
Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus. The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?" Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."
be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means there recording.
I have been thinking about suicide lately. I mean hey my mom tells me I can do anything I put my mind to.
it's not funny to joke about orphans, without any education, they'd never understand what the jokes mean.
A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus,the bartender says "Don't you mean a Martini?"the Roman then says "Look,if I want a double I'll ask for one.
If your a simp, just remember, it means Suckers Idolizing Mediocre Pussy.
