Means Jokes

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence.

Jane ate her friend’s sandwich

Jane ate her friend’s colon

Son, you are not precious so pack your bags because someone else is going to adopt you

Dad, what do you mean someone else will adopt me

Son, your adopted

When Pope Pius (IX.) died, he went to Heaven, knocked at the door, St. Peter opened: "Who are you, what do you want?” "I am Pope Pius. I want to come to heaven.” “Where do you come from?" "Rome." "What do you mean? Rome Massachusetts or Rome New York?" "No, Rome Italy of course." "I'm very sorry, but I do not know you!"

To make sure to not erroneously deny access to an authorised person, Saint Peter takes the telephone, calls up God and asks: "Hello Boss, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?" "What do you mean: Rome Massachusetts or Rome New York?" "No, Rome Italy of course." "No, sorry, I don’t know him."

Saint Peter makes another telephone call and rings up Jesus: "Hello Junior - here’s a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?" "Rome Massachusetts or Rome New York?" "Rome Italy." "No sorry, never heard of."

Saint Peter still does not give up and finally calls up the the Holy Ghost and asks: "Hello Smoky, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome. Do you know him?" "What does he mean, Rome Massachusetts or Rome New York?" "He says Rome Italy." "No sorry, I’m afraid I do not know this guy." But then, after a very short while he continues: "Wait, wait - tell me, is that the guy who invented the damn story about Mary and me?"

So this guy right, he has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog. About 2 weeks after he loses everything he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "what do you mean by 'blowing chunks' ?" says the boss. The man replies with, " Chunks is the name of my dog..."

In Portuguese, Trumpa means bullshit

370HSSV O772H wait your reading it up side down

I was listening to some Drake in class. My teacher shouted to turn it off. She then exclaimed that “Drake is mid and his music is very Pessi” I didn’t understand the meaning until I checked the dictionary and realised it is a synonym for overrated

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I called my sister a party pooper after she came to my party uninvited Grampa said that the only ones who poop at parties are the ones who don't get invited So I guess that means I was the party pooper at my own birthday?

Can I watch you? Yes you can me your watch. No I mean can I WATCH you? I don't get it. 😑 *facepalm*. OOOOOOH YOU MEAN WATCH WITH YOUR EYES! YES!

You should watch Ryan toys review because he not mean hes very nice boy

W-what does, I mean uh, what is, um-, wh-what’s the difference, no... I mean- I mean what do you call a, um... sorry guys, i-i can’t do this😥🥺 *runs away in tears*

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

This is mean af yall need to stop this like wtf what would happen if u all grew up and u was like this like dam

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

just cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I cant have sex

FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook she literally posts everyday but this day was sort kind of a hard hit. so what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85 and i dont want to explain what milf means but she got a lot of DM ́s from a lot of old guys. BUT, This one exact guy names Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do a adult film. idk what that is i think its a adult movie of course so she says yes and flys out to San Diego And she never came back after yesterday. and to YOU Johnny Sins my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be a adult movie and not a Por...