Marine biology jokes
Why would you never donate to crabs?
Because they're shellfish!
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell a brat.
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
If you're having a bad day, just remember the Blobfish exists.
What are fish not allowed to have?
Seaweed.
water puppy
"Have you ever heard of the snail that never gives charity?"
"Yeah, he is so shellfish!"
Why don’t oysters give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish! 😂
What do you feed a group of octopuses for dessert?
Octopie!
Why don't sharks eat n****rs? They think it's whale shit.
How do fish get high?
Because they eat seaweed.
All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...
Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.
Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.
And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.
There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...
There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.
So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"
What did the diver say when he was trapped in seaweed?
- Kelp!
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
What do you call an octopus whose father left?
An octopie.
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
Tentacles!
How many times do you tickle an octopus to make it laugh?
Ten-tickles.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles.
What did one shark say to the other while eating a clownfish?
What are 8 people hiding in a corner because they're scared?
An octopus.