Marijuana jokes
Q: What do you call a hot lesbian who smokes weed?
A: A high femme.
A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.
The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
Bick: Jesus isn't real.
Ron: Yes, He is.
Bick: Prove it, bitch.
Ron: Cussing is a sin. Open the curtains.
Bick: Wh-?
Ron: JUST DO IT, DAMMIT!
The sunlight shone through the window, landing on Ron and Bick. Both of them died and went to hell.
Ron: Fuck you, Jesus.
Bick: Told you Jesus was real.
Satan: Get to work, slaves.
Moral of the story: Stay off the marijuana.
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
Roses are red, I sniff marijuana, I have five fingers, The middle one is for your vagina.
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.
So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!
I can't come in, because I'm too high.
I was gonna clean my room
before I got high.
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
When midgets smoke weed, do they get high or do they get medium?
Wanna hear a joke...
I don't know, I'm too high.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana? They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
Grass for lash.
What do you call a chair that smokes weed?
A high chair.
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?
A pot-hole.
When dwarfs get high, do they just get medium?